To Tip or Not to Tip? 4 Times You Can Say No

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Faced with increasing pressure to tip in a variety of scenarios, Americans are wondering whether — and when — they can say no. Find out how to decide. 

The following scenario may sound familiar: You’ve just ordered an ice cream at the counter. You go to pay by credit card. You’re faced with a screen that gives you the option to pay 20%, 25%, or even 30% in tips, even though the person serving you hasn’t really done anything. Gone are the tip jars of old where you could throw in your change and add extra when someone’s gone above and beyond. Automatic tip screens with pre-suggested percentages are the new normal — and it isn’t easy to refuse when the person’s right in front of you.

All in all, we’re being asked to tip more — and in more situations. One New York Times columnist complained of being asked for a 10% to 30% tip in a grocery store. Nobody wants to be a bad tipper, but many people feel tipping has gotten out of control. On the other hand, in a lot of these situations, the person being tipped likely isn’t earning a lot of money. The company may use this guilt-laden tipping process to justify low wages, putting the onus on you as a consumer to make up the difference.

The average American spends around $600 a year on restaurant tips, according to The Ascent’s calculations. That’s before you factor in all the other tips we pay every month. It’s no wonder, then, that people are looking for ways to reduce this cost. There are a lot of things we could do with an extra couple of hundred dollars or more a year in our bank accounts. Here are some scenarios when it’s OK to say no to tipping.

1. It’s already included

A handful of restaurants have experimented with no-tipping policies, so far with limited success. More commonly, eateries will automatically tack a 15% to 20% service charge onto your bill, particularly if you’re a large group. Check your bill before you pay an additional charge. Of course, if the service was exceptional, you may want to pay more. Just know that it isn’t compulsory.

2. The tip recipient really didn’t do anything

Generally speaking, whenever someone does something for you — whether that’s mixing a cocktail or taking your food wrappers to the trash — it’s good form to tip. But if you’re in a drive-thru line, a gas station, or a fast food restaurant where the service involved is limited, a tip is often not necessary.

When it comes to counter service, things get a bit more complicated. In theory, the person serving your cup of coffee or scoop of ice cream is being paid to do that job. Unfortunately, you don’t know how much they rely on tips to keep their heads above water. And if you’ve ordered something complicated or they’ve gone the extra mile, a tip is a good way to recognize their effort.

3. You’re using a self-checkout machine

If you’re doing the work of scanning and bagging your items, being asked for an automated tip can rankle. After all, who is the tip going to and what is it for? There are stories of people being asked to tip at self-checkout points in airports, sports stadiums, stores, and cafes.

If the company has already replaced the human cashier with a machine, you really don’t need to pay the machine anything extra.

4. Professional services

You don’t need to tip someone like a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or teacher who earns a salary. Many may not be allowed to accept the money, and it could wind up being awkward.

Instead, if you want to show your thanks, consider giving the person who performed the service a small gift or sending them a thank-you card.

What about when the service is really bad?

Think twice before you skip a restaurant tip because of bad service. There are many situations where the tip isn’t a bonus for good service, it’s what the employee needs to survive. Indeed, in some states, companies can pay tipped workers as little as $2.13 an hour as long as the expected tips take the total to the minimum wage.

Plus, tips usually get distributed among all the staff. So it may not be fair to take out your frustrations with an individual server on the people behind the scenes who did a perfectly good job. And if the service is slow, it may not even be the wait staff’s fault — it could be that the restaurant owner doesn’t employ enough people or hasn’t fully trained them.

You might opt to tip less if the service is poor. Just know that not tipping at all could unfairly punish the wrong people.

Reaching a tipping point

Tipping can be a minefield, and consumers are starting to rebel against the ever increasing pressure to tip in almost every service interaction. Use your judgment about what feels fair. If you’re being asked to tip for a service that never used to involve one, or where you don’t think it is justified, it’s OK to say no.

Shubhranshu Singh, an associate professor of marketing at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School, says this is an evolving situation, and a backlash from consumers could see a return to lower tips. “We may go back to lower tips if consumers really feel that’s the way to go and react strongly,” he says.

As such, if you aren’t comfortable with the surge in tipping, speaking out might stop it becoming the norm.

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