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A writer shares some bad advice a friend gave her years ago. Read on to see what it was.
I’m fortunate to have been the recipient of some great financial advice from my parents.
They encouraged me to save money from a young age, to the point where I managed to amass a few thousand dollars in the bank from babysitting income alone. And when I got older, they taught me how to manage credit cards and avoid debt.
But while my parents were kind enough to impart some excellent financial advice that’s served me well, years ago, a well-meaning friend of mine gave me some advice that was downright awful. And I shudder to think about what might’ve happened had I taken her advice to heart.
“Enjoy your life and don’t worry about money”
That’s the advice my friend gave me when I was in my early 20s. And it was pretty terrible. But first, let me give you some context.
Some of my friends were planning a trip that was way out of my price range at the time. All of my friends were paying for that trip themselves. But, to be fair, we were right out of college, and they’d all had their education paid for in full. I did not.
Meanwhile, one of my friends had parents who were subsidizing her rent so that she was only paying about half of her monthly tab. Her parents also commonly bailed her out when large expenses popped up.
It was this same friend who really pushed me to come on that trip when my other friends backed off and realized I just wasn’t comfortable spending the money. When I explained that I didn’t feel I could afford it, and that I wasn’t going to rack up debt to finance it, her response was something along the lines of, “Enjoy your life and don’t worry about money so much.”
At that point, I couldn’t help but point out that her advice was a little tone deaf given our different financial circumstances. She apologized and I knew she meant well. She wanted me to participate in an experience that she felt lucky to be able to swing. But it just wasn’t in the cards for me.
So my friends went on the trip and I didn’t. And you know what? It’s fine. In fact, had I charged that trip on a credit card and carried the balance forward, for all I know, I’d still be paying it off to this day. Well, okay, probably not, because that was a looong time ago. But I probably would’ve lost a fair amount of money to interest, and that’s not something I was interested in (no pun intended).
When debt just isn’t worth it
I do believe in spending money on experiences and things that bring you joy — when you can afford to. But I don’t believe in racking up expensive debt to treat yourself to things you don’t have the money for and then suffering the consequences afterward.
My friend meant well — I know she did. But it’s advice like hers that might partially explain why U.S. credit card balances totaled $913 billion in the first quarter of 2023, according to TransUnion.
Not so long ago, I saw this same group of friends and I told my friend I’d be writing a story about the bad advice she gave me years ago. And she actually encouraged me to do so.
See, my friend has learned the hard way why her advice wasn’t very good. While her parents helped her out financially her first few years out of college, they pulled that plug many years back, and it was a major wake-up call. These days, this same friend is so saddled with bills, like car and mortgage payments, that she hasn’t taken a big vacation in years. And she knows full well that if anyone were to tell her to enjoy her life and not worry about money, she’d probably have some very choice words in response.
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