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Sheiresa Ngo of BlackEnterprise.com shares a conversation that must take place and should be carefully worded.
Money is one of the top causes of arguments in relationships. It’s a sensitive subject that people often avoid. However, it’s important to talk to your spouse about finances so that there won’t be any surprises. It is important to know how much money is coming into and going out of your household.
1. Set a regular time to sit down and talk calmly.
Most of us would rather go to the dentist than talk about finances. But it’s important to create a safe environment where you can share your views and create a plan for how the money should be handled.
2. Do not be confrontational. Don’t come to the meeting throwing barbs and arrows. The meeting will not be productive if you are both upset and/or angry. Rather, make a list of positive and negative things that you wish to discuss. Treat the talk like it’s a work meeting and simply go over each item.
3. Let each person talk. You will have to come to an understanding, which means that both of you should be given the chance to talk. It should not be a one sided meeting. Listen carefully to each other and attempt to come to an agreement.
4. Keep it simple. Not everyone is an accountant. Not everyone understands spreadsheets or accounting apps. Keeping it simple helps both of you understand each other and keeps you from having to guess what the other thinks, feels, or means.
5. You’ll probably disagree at some point. You have probably argued over finances before. Even with the best intentions you will probably argue again. Finances are a challenge and it is just something that you have to work on together until you understand each other and how each of you approaches money. Make up quickly and keep at it. It will eventually make your relationship stronger.
My husband and I go on walks nearly every day, and that is when we talk about our finances. It seems to be less confrontational and more of an open conversation when we are out in the open.