My Dad Doesn’t Like Father’s Day. Here’s How We Make the Day Special

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This writer’s Dad thinks Father’s Day is “commercial poppycock.” If you have non-materialistic loved ones or lack cash, discover some cost-effective gifts. 

My dad’s frugality is legendary in my family. He hates wasting anything, particularly money. This is a man who, when my parents were still dating, asked a neighboring table in a restaurant if he could have their leftovers. He will always set the thermostat several degrees lower than what’s comfortable in the winter.

As an adult, one of the many things I am grateful to him for is that he taught me to live within my means and save for the future. But it presents an interesting conundrum when it comes to birthdays, Christmases, and Father’s Day. How do you treat someone who actively dislikes frivolous spending?

Why Dad isn’t a fan of Father’s Day

In fairness, Dad isn’t a full-on Scrooge. And it’s not only about money. He worries about the environmental impact of the amount of “stuff” we all consume. He is someone who’d always rather fix something than buy new, and he hates the crazy levels of consumerism in the world.

He also doesn’t want us spending our money on things he doesn’t need (or really even want). Especially not for what he considers to be a day that was made up by greeting card companies to sell more products. “Commercial poppycock,” he told me when I told him about this article. Never mind that National Geographic tells me it was actually President Nixon who made Father’s Day a holiday back in 1972.

My dad has done a lot to help me build secure financial foundations and build wealth. He’d much rather I put any spare cash I had into a brokerage account than spend it on him. Personally, I think it’s possible to do both — I can invest and occasionally get something special for my dad. Plus, there are a lot of ways to buy thoughtful gifts that bring joy and won’t end up in landfill.

Cost-free ways to make Father’s Day special

Whether it’s because you don’t have much spare cash right now or your dad doesn’t like Father’s Day, there’s no reason it has to break the bank. When you think about it, most of these celebrations are about showing love and appreciation. Sure, you can spend money, but you can also spend time and effort on your loved ones.

Here are some of the ways we’ve done that for my dad in the past.

1. Spend time together

Think about things that your dad enjoys and see if you can make some of them happen this Father’s Day. That might mean going for a long walk, watching sport, or helping him out in the garden. Or organizing a family gathering and bringing people together. You might cook his favorite meal or watch a movie you think he’ll like.

If you aren’t able to visit, plan a phone call or video call. One of the few upsides of the pandemic was that we all learned to get creative about socializing without being in the same room. If he’s into quizzes, perhaps you can do a family quiz on Zoom. Or make a video with messages from various family members that he can watch.

2. Make a card

Given my dad’s views on greetings card companies, I’d never dare to buy him a Father’s Day card. Cards at Hallmark start at around $3.50 and stretch to almost $10. It won’t dent your bank account that much, but it all adds up. Indeed, part of living frugally is to pay attention to those small costs.

It’s surprisingly easy to make your own — and if you have kids, you can get them involved as well. If you’re not artistically inclined, don’t let that put you off. Cut out a picture from an old magazine or newspaper and stick it onto a folded piece of paper or card. Or print something off the internet. Or use a photo of you and your dad. It doesn’t have to be super creative, it really is the thought that counts.

3. Share memories

I think any special occasion is a good opportunity to show the people I love what they mean to me. One way to do that is tell your dad what you’ve learned from him, or reasons you appreciate him. It can be fun to share happy memories and remind him of things that stand out from your childhood. If you have siblings, encourage them to do the same — it’s amazing how we all remember different things.

4. Make him something

In years gone by, I had more time for ambitious craft projects involving recycled materials. Now I’m more likely to make a jar of his favorite jam or whip up some cookies. That said, my sister is a dab hand with a sewing machine and can churn out cushion covers, bags, and all kinds of things. If you’re into it, DIY gifts can be a great and affordable way to spoil someone, especially if they’re super materialistic. It doesn’t have to be craft-related either. You might write a poem or make something musical if that’s what you enjoy.

Bottom line

Family celebrations don’t have to be about money. In fact, when you take money out of the equation, it can sometimes push you to find gifts or ways to celebrate that are more meaningful. Focus on the person and the things that make them happy and you’ll quickly find cost-effective ways to mark any occasion.

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