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First dates are hard. You’re trying to be a funny, charismatic, and interesting version of yourself while asking insightful questions and listening to your date.
If you’re one of the few Americans who’s passionate about your personal finances and doesn’t want to waste time with someone not on the same page, you’ve got an even harder task. How can you find out your date’s views on money without being rude?
Here are five strategies you can use to stay charming and get the financial scoop.
Propose a cheap date
If you want to find a frugal romantic partner, don’t schedule your first date at a steakhouse. Suggest a picnic, scenic walk, or coffee shop. A date with expensive tastes might balk at these ideas, but it’s a quick way to find out how your romantic interest feels about money.
Consider your date’s attitude
You aren’t going to find someone who wants to discuss ETF allocations or tax-gain harvesting on the first date. Most people aren’t passionate about their personal finances. That doesn’t mean you should give up on dating. Consider looking for a partner who shares your frugal values but hasn’t figured out how to implement them. If you find a date interested in your long-term plans to live within your means and avoid debt, you’re off to a great start.
Use open-ended questions that get your date talking about their long-term lifestyle plans. Letting your date do most of the talking makes you seem like a good listener and gets you the answers you need. Many dating experts suggest asking about dreams and ambitions on the first date. It’s not just financially smart; it’s also romantic.
Ask about vacations
Ask your date about their dream vacation. If your date starts describing a first-class trip to Paris complete with five-star hotels and Michelin restaurants, that’s a good clue they aren’t frugal. Try mentioning your plans for camping at a state park or using credit card rewards for travel and see how they react.
Discuss career plans
You don’t need to pull out your 20-year blueprint for your career, but you can discuss generalities and gain insight into your date’s personal finance thoughts. Ask what job they’d do if money was no object or where they see themselves in five years. Are they planning on a career as an artist or part-time social worker? Those are admirable paths, but they might not mesh with your personal finance goals.
Talk about the perfect home
Asking your date questions about their dream home is a sneaky way to learn about their financial maturity. If they want a 10-bedroom McMansion, have they talked about career goals that make their ideal home realistic? Do they want to live in the suburbs and commute an hour each day into the city? Perhaps you’ll be surprised and have a date who dreams of a mortgage-free house.
Frugality is not the norm. Most Americans spend more than they earn and struggle under heavy debt loads. Money is the most frequent reason for arguing among married couples. Finding someone who shares your financial views is hard work, but a strong relationship will be your greatest long-term asset.
Originally appeared on Learn.StashInvest.com. Click here to Sign up with STASH here.
