I’m Hoping My Next House Is My Forever Home, But Here’s Why I’m Not Counting on It

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I think I’ve found the perfect house to buy, but I’ve thought that before. Here’s why you can’t always count on your “forever” home to actually be forever. 

Soon, I will be moving into a new home. I’ve been officially cleared to close on my mortgage loan and I’m just waiting for the closing date to arrive so I can move in.

I spent a long time looking for the right property when I opted to buy a house again, focusing on many factors to find the perfect location and a home I would love. I hope this property will be my forever home and I will never have to sell it. But, I’m not counting on it.

Here’s why.

It’s hard to predict where you’ll want to live forever

Although I have every intention of making this new house my forever home, this is not the first time I’ve bought a property intending to stay for the long haul. I have done it twice before.

The first time, I ended up leaving my “forever” home behind because flood insurance costs went through the roof, and I realized I couldn’t stand having neighbors to my rear even if they were across an intercoastal waterway from our house.

Then, I ended up leaving my second forever home because we decided to have kids and the house was not conducive to that family arrangement. It had a narrow and dangerous stairway and a poor layout, with only two small guest bedrooms upstairs that were way across the house from our room.

I couldn’t have predicted either of these changes when we bought homes we meant to stay in for the long haul. And while I really hope I’ll be happy in my new house permanently, I know from experience I simply can’t count on that to be the case.

Should you look for your forever home?

While the idea of a forever home where you can set down roots has become normalized and many home buyers want to find their permanent place, the reality is that this is often an unrealistic goal.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average person in the U.S. moves around 11.4 times in their lifetime, with moves tending to increase as you get older. For example, while the average 18-year-old has just two moves under their belt, the average 30-year-old has six. People move for lots of different reasons, from a change of jobs to a change in family structure to simply a desire for more space or a different living arrangement.

Since you can’t predict with 100% certainty what you’ll want in two years or five years, much less 10, 20, or 30 years down the line, you shouldn’t necessarily waste time or energy trying to buy a home you feel like you’d be happy with for eternity. Doing so could lead you to make silly mistakes like overspending on a home you fall in love with because you don’t want to move again.

You could also end up putting off homeownership in your quest for the “perfect” place and miss out on the chance to start building equity.

Instead of trying to find a “forever” home, look for a place that’s going to be right for you for the foreseeable future. You don’t want to move until at least two to five years have passed because otherwise, you’re likely to lose money due to transaction costs. But if you can see yourself being happy for at least that long and buying a house won’t derail your personal finances, don’t pass it up just because you may not see yourself there when you’re 70.

You may just find that your “good enough” home is a place where you’re happy to set down roots. Or you may decide to join me in packing up a few times even when you thought you never would, until you find a place that just happens to be where you spend your life.

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