How to Live Like Kramer on Seinfeld

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It can be done — in your dreams. 

Whether you’re a self-proclaimed Seinfeld fanatic or you’ve only caught the show once or twice via reruns or through a streaming service, you’ve probably noticed that Kramer, Jerry Seinfeld’s neighbor, actually has a pretty sweet existence. After all, the guy barely works, and yet he manages to cover the rent on a fairly spacious Manhattan apartment — an expensive prospect even back in the 1990s, when the show aired.

If your goal is to live like the infamous Cosmo Kramer, you should know that it can be done. Here’s what it takes to pull it off.

1. Find a neighbor you can mooch off of regularly

It’s easier to exist on an absent income (and, most likely, a non-existent savings account) when you have a neighbor who’s willing to give you full access to their fridge and pantry. That was the arrangement Kramer magically managed to worm his way into with Jerry. And lo and behold, the man probably didn’t spend more than a handful of dollars on groceries each week.

Along these lines, Kramer was hardly the first person to pick up the check when the gang ate at Monk’s Cafe — something they did on a regular basis. So it’s not just Jerry who Kramer was mooching off of all those years. He somehow managed to charm George and Elaine into funding his existence, too.

2. Partner up with a mailman to cash in on recycling

These days, recycling is something many of us do naturally. But back in the 1990s, consumers needed motivation to recycle, so many states offered money back for recycled bottles and cans.

Kramer, genius that he was, partnered up with Newman to run a mail truck full of recyclables from New York to Michigan to score a higher payday. And while their plan didn’t quite pan out, it had the potential to be a real (very teeny tiny) money-maker.

3. Become a best-selling author with no experience whatsoever

Some people dream of writing a book, having it published, and getting to live off of the royalties. And apparently, becoming a published author is super easy. Just find an obscure topic no one really cares about, like coffee tables, shoot some photos, and voila — you not only have yourself a publishing deal, but a spot on a well-watched TV show to talk about it.

4. Score a lifetime of free coffee

Store-bought coffee can be a huge expense. Just think of the way all of those Starbucks runs add to your monthly credit card bills. That’s not something Kramer had to worry about, though. After suing a major chain for serving him coffee that was too hot, Kramer agreed to a settlement of free coffee for life.

Granted, his lawyer wasn’t too happy about that. And to be fair, Kramer would’ve likely come away with actual money had he let his lawyer do the talking. But instead, he set himself up with a lifetime of free java.

You really can’t live like Kramer

By now, you’ve hopefully come to realize that all of these tips are meant in jest, and that living like Cosmo Kramer is just glaringly unrealistic. That said, one thing Kramer was good at was finding odd jobs to make money here and there, from moonlighting as a department store Santa to participating in police line-ups. And so if you’re looking to boost your income, you may want to follow Kramer’s lead by getting yourself a series of side hustles.

But to be clear, it takes a steady, stable income to pull off a Manhattan apartment that isn’t the size of a shoebox, and to have enough money to dine out regularly, whether at a diner or a soup stand with very strict rules. And so rather than aim to live like Kramer, aim to hold down a regular job — one with benefits and a 401(k) and all the other responsible adult things Kramer never seemed to get a handle on.

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The Ascent does not cover all offers on the market. Editorial content from The Ascent is separate from The Motley Fool editorial content and is created by a different analyst team.Maurie Backman has no position in any of the stocks mentioned. The Motley Fool has positions in and recommends Starbucks. The Motley Fool recommends the following options: short April 2023 $100 calls on Starbucks. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.

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