Here’s One Surprising Reason You Might Overspend

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Breaking up is hard to do, and it might even be a strain on your finances. Keep reading to find out whether you need a “breakup budget.” 

We all know the cliches. When you go through a devastating breakup, you might get a drastic haircut (are you sure you want bangs?), sign up for a gym membership, or even splurge and take a series of expensive vacations (a la Eat, Pray, Love).

If you feel out of control of your emotions, taking charge of your money by spending some of it in a reckless way can sometimes make you feel better — this is the crux of retail therapy as a concept. Let’s take a closer look at overspending in the wake of a breakup and explore a few ways you can cope with heartbreak that don’t involve derailing your personal finances.

Does spending money help mend a broken heart?

Anecdotal evidence sure says so. I asked some of my friends about what they spent money on in the wake of a breakup. For some, it was on a new iPhone, tattoos, and having junk food delivered (pre-DoorDash and similar services, and it wasn’t cheap). Others drowned their sorrows in even more expensive ways; one spent 10 days in Scotland, another had a girls’ weekend in Las Vegas, and one even bought a car (at a time when she was making just $5 an hour — her car payments came to $474.88 a month!).

A 2014 study out of the University of Michigan found that shopping reduces residual sadness by giving people a renewed sense of control over their life. If you think about it, this makes a lot of sense. A relationship’s trajectory and outcome are determined by more than one person, but if you’ve just gotten out of one, you’re likely feeling eager to reassert control over all aspects of your life, including your finances.

Unfortunately, a breakup splurge can have negative consequences if your finances can’t support your overspending — notably, you could end up in debt. As the study noted, “Whether the increased control afforded by shopping results in a loss of control later (due to increased debt), and thus counteracts the temporary benefits of retail therapy, remains an important open question.”

How can you prepare your finances for a breakup?

While it might seem negative, it could be worth setting yourself up for a more affordable run of spending if your relationship ends. And you don’t even need to be in a relationship (or one that seems to be failing) to set it up. Just like with so many aspects of managing your money, you can make automation work for you here, too. If you don’t already have a high-yield savings account, you should open one — these are paying a high enough APY right now to beat inflation.

The best ones allow you to set up sub-accounts (which might be called “buckets,” “pockets,” or “vaults”) so you can keep money separated within the account for different goals. Give one of them an apt name (or even just go with “Breakup Budget”) and set up a small automatic transfer every week or month, or on whatever schedule works for you. This way, if you need some of that retail therapy, you’ve got a chunk of money ready and waiting.

What if you already went a little overboard?

If you’re struggling to repair your finances in the wake of a little too much heartbreak spending, here are few tips that can help:

Figure out how much you owe: Step away from the credit card, and instead log into your accounts and see how much you’ve spent. Knowledge is power, and knowing you went overboard by $500 or $1,000 (or more) is key to getting out from under it.Cut your spending: If you’ve got some debt to pay off, it’s time to tighten up your budget so you can temper the damage. If you usually spend $150 a week on entertainment costs, vow to cut that expense until you’re out of debt. Consider cooking for yourself at home, borrowing DVDs from the library, or if you go out with friends often, maybe you can plan some free or lower-cost fun instead.Bring in more money: Adding to your income is often a more effective way to get out of debt, so if you’re owed a raise at work, go in there and ask for it. Alternatively, you might consider signing up for a casual side hustle (maybe driving for Lyft, or delivering food for DoorDash?) to bring in extra money.Think frugal when it comes to dating: You might be eager to get back out there, but dating can also be expensive. So if you’re trying to repair some damage from a breakup splurge, consider meeting a new person for coffee rather than a full dinner. The nice thing about coffee as a first date is that it’s enough time to decide if you actually like someone, and if you don’t, you can leave gracefully before wasting too much of your precious time or money. If you do like them, you can have that dinner more cheaply — my colleague Maurie Backman suggests a Costco food court date as an option.

The best remedy for heartbreak is often time — after all, time heals all wounds. If you want to be prepared for your next relationship, consider giving yourself the gift of pre-planned cash to spend.

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The Ascent does not cover all offers on the market. Editorial content from The Ascent is separate from The Motley Fool editorial content and is created by a different analyst team.The Motley Fool has positions in and recommends Costco Wholesale and DoorDash. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.

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