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Financial abuse is, unfortunately, a common occurrence in many abusive relationships. Here are some ways to prepare financially before leaving your abuser.
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Domestic violence affects millions of people annually. One type of abuse that is not often discussed is financial abuse. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Abuse, up to 99% of domestic violence victims experience this kind of abuse. For many victims, financial concerns present the most significant barrier to getting out of an abusive situation.
It’s possible to overcome financial abuse. Taking steps to prepare financially can give you greater confidence to leave and the financial means to thrive as you create a life free from your abuser. Below are a few ways to prepare financially before leaving an abusive situation.
1. Open a bank account
One sign of financial abuse is withholding money. In an abusive relationship, one partner may restrict access to money to maintain control. Having limited access to money can make it challenging to leave an abusive situation.
Something you can do to prepare your personal finances before leaving is to open a bank account in your name. Maintaining a checking and savings account in your name only allows you to keep your money safe without your abuser knowing about it.
2. Find ways to increase your income
If your abuser is the sole earner and controls the household income, leaving can be challenging due to financial concerns. If you can work, doing so can allow you to bring in money so you’re not financially reliant on your abuser.
Getting a side hustle, part-time, or full-time job is an excellent way to earn your own money so you can save. Some side hustles are home-based, which could be a good option if you can’t leave the house for work due to the abuse you’re experiencing.
If getting a traditional job is not possible, here are some money-making options to explore:
Sell unwanted items around the housePet sit or dog walkOffer to do small household chores or yard work for cashDonate plasmaAsk a trusted friend to borrow money
3. Stash cash and buy gift cards
Before leaving your abuser, having money aside for future expenses can be beneficial. As you determine your next steps, start stashing away cash. Keeping your money in a solo bank account that your abuser doesn’t know about is recommended to keep your money safe.
If you’re worried about your abuser noticing large cash withdrawals, consider using a debit card to get cash when shopping instead of getting money from an ATM. Many retailers allow shoppers to get cash back when they pay with a debit card. This strategy can help hide your actions. Another way to prepare is to buy gift cards when grocery shopping. Once you leave, you can use gift cards to purchase food and essentials so you don’t go without.
4. Open a credit card
Another way to prepare financially is to get a credit card. If you share a credit card account with your abuser, they can shut off access or remove you from the account — leaving you stranded. By opening a credit card in your name, you’ll have a financial backup plan ready for emergencies. Check out our list of the best credit cards to find the right card for you.
5. Protect your documents and financial accounts
Important documents like your Social Security card, passport, birth certificate, and marriage license may be kept from you by your abuser to maintain control. But you’ll need these documents later. Gather these documents and keep them in a safe place so they’re available to you in the future when it’s time to get your affairs in order.
It’s also recommended that you protect your financial accounts from your abuser. If you access any of your financial accounts online, be sure to use private, secure passwords that your abuser can’t guess. It’s also not a bad idea to regularly clear your search history on your mobile phone and computer to keep your online activity private.
Help is available
As you plan your exit strategy, don’t neglect available resources. You’re not alone and don’t have to navigate this difficult journey without help. Remember that your safety is most important. If you’re a domestic violence victim and need immediate assistance, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Text and online chat support are also available. Help is available 24/7.
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